The Downside To Changing Your Mindset
It’s a wonderful thing when you can see things from a different perspective – from the other side of the foot one could say. It changes you in so many ways that words can’t describe.
Never does it happen overnight. Nor can you see how much your mindset has changed over a short period of time, it’s only when you look back over a longer period, that is when you really see how far you have come.
It’s all the small things that really add up. The positives and negatives seen throughout the day, gradually they begin to take shape in the way that only you can let it.
Discovering the power of your mindset isn’t always pleasant. It’s a realization that who you are to this day, you are 100% accountable for it. That alone is the hardest thing to come to terms with.
To know that the reason you feel miserable is because of you, the reason you haven’t fulfilled any of your ultimate desires is because of you, I mean the list goes on and it is really confronting. And sadly when we first become aware of this, the excuses continue to flow… my parents never gave me the knowledge I needed, I am under appreciated for the work I do, no-one wants to give me a chance, there is too much competition.
There is no beating around the bush. As much as the blame game is the go to, it isn’t going to help anymore than what it already has. And if it hasn’t already helped, then what makes you think it’s going to work in the future? Once the realization sets in that something has to change and we realize that it has to start from inside ourselves, that’s when it all begins to unfold and the way we perceive the world seems to never be the same again.
All the excuses fade away and our new outlook seems to speak for itself. We find clarity in what it is that really matters. A light at the end of the tunnel begins to emerge. We take action in the direction that we want for ourselves. We devise a plan but most of all; we stick to it. The sticking to it part is hard at first. People seem encouraging in the beginning, it’s reassuring to feel as though you are not alone. But as they see your progress, they begin to get negative, they begin to try and tear you down.
But whyyyy you ask!? I’m doing the right thing you tell yourself. So why don’t they want me to succeed!!?
What you need to remind yourself of is that your success is a realization to them of how, that could have been them. You were on the same par with them right? And now you are succeeding!… It’s evidence to them that they are the only one to blame and frankly it’s all a bit too much for them.
But this is not the downside to a change in mindset I want to discuss with you. The real downside to a change of mindset is when the ones who do believe in you.. Who do support you and are there for you, when they don’t grow in conjunction with you. Their mindset although positive towards your dreams, they still have a negative frame of mind in all other areas of life.
This only makes a huge impact when you spend a lot of time with this person. For me it was my ex-fiancé. Now before I delve into how ultimately it was his frame of mind that made me call it off, I want to point out and really emphasis that without him, I also wouldn’t be where I am today.
Cliché to say but he was my rock through the start of my journey, which ultimately is the hardest part. It was his love and support that helped me find this road to a positive mindset and if I didn’t have his initial support I don’t know where I would be.
When I look back on how much I have grown over the past couple years I feel like I am a completely different person. They do say that over a period of (HOW MANY) years you can renew who you are simply from a small change in direction. But to actually see it and feel it first hand it is quite astonishing.
It’s a hard thing to come to terms with the fact of change. When you realise the change in your core values and beliefs affect the things and people closest to you.
Every day we are faced with challenges, conversations and general discussions that can affect how we feel for the rest of the day. The way we react to these situations slowly steer us into a direction and after a longer period of time with that slight change in direction, before we know it we can be on completely different paths.
As much as we want to make things work, the hardest decision is to realise that sometimes, paths only do cross, they don’t always align. I guess this is the best way to describe my realisation that my ex-fiance and I are both on different paths.
Having this realisation come into my life was heart breaking. Over time I tried to make sacrifices and communicate in order to make it work but in reality by the end of it I felt as though I was dying on the inside and no one could hear me. I was so scared. I was praying for courage each day for I did not know how to proceed… To tell my fiance, my partner of over 8 years that I no longer wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, breaking the news not only broke his heart but mine.
There are so many things I have learned from him over the years. Lessons I could never pay for, experiences I could never replicate but in a moment of reflection like this I refer back to something I recall my mum saying years ago. A friend of my mum’s was having some relationship issues and asked Mum what it is that ultimately made her and my dad separate after 25 years.
Her advice has stuck with me all these years later, and although this was relevant for my mums situation a wee disclaimer that I know this is not the same for everyone. Mum said she had grown in ways that my father had not. She was the one that had learnt new skills with us kids, she was the one that took us to our after school activities, helped
us with our homework, our extracurricular activities, experienced our relationships with our friends and growing pains while my father focused most of his downtime on either more work or unwinding with his friends at thepub.
I think the similarities between my case and my mums show that the reason we grow apart is because we develop in different ways. Although the change to a positive mindset is incredibly uplifting, unfortunately due to it being so gradual, once you have already made substantial progress, if the one you try to share it with isn’t open to it, in a way it is already too late.
It is amazing this journey we call life. The people we meet on the way, the relationships we make, the way we grow... It is what makes us who we are.
With the essence of time added into the mix, we can see how much we each as individuals change over the years. Our goals, our mindsets, our passions. It doesn’t happen overnight but gradually as we listen to our souls we become who we were destined to be.
It is that inner voice that I want you all to encourage yourself to be true to. It’s not an easy step, to hurt those that have always been true to you. But you must stick true to your path and realise that sometimes paths only do cross over… not all paths align. Stick to your true path and one day you shall find those who also align.